Female, anti feminist, egalitarian.
I'm against sexism of all kinds but there are plenty of blogs whose sole focus is on women but very few even recognise that sexism does not equal Man against Woman.
This blog focuses on Misandry: The hatred, discimination or distrust of men and boys. Pointing out the representation of men in the media, deliberate misinformation/misrepresentation, the demonisation of men in our society and the imbalance this causes.
Rather than think of ourselves as in competition we should cater to everyone as needed.
If you think I'm being unfair to other women just know that I consider all sides of an argument, normally I prefer to be the fence. But for the purposes of this blog I have taken a side so apologies if this offends you.
I answer all asks privately unless otherwise requested or anonymous.

 

Been on my tablet for the past few days but it’s so crap I could barely manage a post a day. While spending time with someone who’s having some relationship problems and told me about them in detail, it fit with a lot of similar things I’d heard over the years.

Nearly every man in my family has been with other men as well as women, a lot of my male friends have also been with other guys, mother’s ex is straight but still likes sex with both and now I find out that another friend had an affair with another man and that his father had done the same early in his marriage.

Could it be that we attract people with similar proclivities? Looking at studies on the subject, it appears that a higher number of heterosexual men have experimented with same-sex sexual activity than women. Feminists are always going on about how hateful men are to everyone (especially women, mustn’t forget their ultimate victim status) and that ~patriarchy~ and their inherent nature is what prevents them from being good and open like them *snort*. Despite the fact that they are a large part of what is keeping them quiet. As with everything, it could be that “male power” is overt and people will always pay more attention to the negative and ignore or erase the positive or neutral.

Just thought it was interesting, yet another bullshit generalisation that doesn’t hold water.

Anonymous asked
Hey, what are you thoughts about fictional works. Alot of social justice say that if you enjoy a certain fetish/trope in a fictional stuff, it's just a bad, whether or whether not you approve of it in real life. I find it fucking annoying but idk you think they have any grounds?

mx-autumn:

it-goes-both-ways:

metalmanky306:

it-goes-both-ways:

thespectacularspider-girl:

rossalinrose:

whydoikeepgettingdeleted:

thespectacularspider-girl:

I think that it is fine to a fairly large degree.  Rape fantasies are common, for example, and they don’t actually cause rape.

Rossalinrose needs to read this she thinks people with rape fantasy are sick.

yeah bc they are??? if u have seriously thought about raping a child you are sick

Rape fantasies are not the same thing as pedophilia.  To try to equate the two as being one and the same is dishonest.

You’ll also be surprised to know that 9 studies over 30 years (the last one being 2008) showed that, on average, 40% of women have rape fantasies.  The estimated minimum being 31%, the highest estimate being 57%.

In 2009 62% of 355 college women said that they’ve had fantasies involving them “being forcefully taken by a man”.  When the term “rape” was actually used, that dropped to 32% of them.

Rape fantasies are just fantasies.  They aren’t harmful.  And this is coming from a rape survivor.

This reminds me of the tons of fics involving rape of one of the characters, out of curiosity I checked their tumblrs they linked to and found that they’re more often than not written by feminists. It’s like they obsess over it constantly and feel disgusted by their fantasies so they blame all of society. The ones I’ve read by feminists who linked to their tumblrs describe the event in graphic detail, right down to the sounds and sensations, it’s downright erotic, while their reaction is complete and utter devastation, the most extreme PTSD you can imagine, it’s a strange contrast. No matter which character it’s about, it’ll be practically the same. The ones that are not openly feminist vary from following this pattern to being handled a lot more realistically, much more in character.

From the women I’ve met with rape fantasies they also seem to be the most terrified and paranoid, probably something to do with how much they think about it.

Wasn’t there a thing about women hiring men to “rape” them?

That’s the thing that’s important and missing from education about this stuff. Thoughts, feelings and urges are natural and can’t be helped. The best way of learning to curb them is to accept them and deal with them head on. Even the idea of these things is so criminalised. Just imagine being someone who, despite their better judgement, feels a desperate urge to rape; in this society they’re likely to feel like they’re just as disgusting as if they’d done the deed itself and maybe then even consider doing it for some peace of mind. Whereas if somebody just came and told them that this is natural and okay and that they need to find a way around it, they’d still feel like the human being that they are and they’d try and find ways of dealing with it. Vicarious means like pornography and bedroom roleplay of these things are just as okay and in fact important, I’d wager, for those who need to deal with this stuff.

We as a society always try to dehumanise people who do or want to do horrible things so that we can sleep at night and people always try to think themselves above them so they can pass judgement and say we should bring back the gallows for it or w/e (a mentality I find far more disturbing because of its pervasive self-righteousness) but it’s all bullshit. Everyone who’s ever done anything was a human being, from Ghandi to Hitler, from MLK to Joseph Fritzel.

I think it’s important the society learns to remind everyone that temptation is human, but so is compassion.

That ought to be a mantra for everyone to say, IMO.

My sister and I always talked about weird urges we had, things like pushing someone when at a great height.
There is a weird thing about when you force someone to suppress something, you can turn it into a fetish. One of the most purvy times was the Victorian era. But with things like this, automatic condemnation can kind of drive them to do it. So many situations where people cause problems by trying to prevent them in the worst possible way.

I have rape fantasies and I for one believe it’s popular because women are terrified of it. But role playing rape, puts you in control of your fear.

That makes sense. I don’t see the appeal (because I’m not terrified of it, maybe?), it doesn’t bother me either but the closest I get to that is deciding that if I was ever in that situation and couldn’t get out of it I’d try and enjoy it, see it as just sex, it fits with my weirdly passive nature when it comes to physical harm on myself. When a girl in Piccadilly Gardens came up to me and shouted that I was in her personal space (oddly common) then punched me repeatedly in the face I just started laughing, wasn’t bothered at all. Yet if anyone else is threatened or assaulted I’m in there like a shot without a second thought.

My fantasies, the few that involve myself in any way, usually involve either impressing people with some skill (like playing a particularly pain in the arse reel) or saving someone from a potentially deadly situation and I rarely have the same one twice. It’s not sexual but it does cause a sort of adrenaline rush. Is that what they call a “power fantasy”?

Anonymous asked
Hey, what are you thoughts about fictional works. Alot of social justice say that if you enjoy a certain fetish/trope in a fictional stuff, it's just a bad, whether or whether not you approve of it in real life. I find it fucking annoying but idk you think they have any grounds?

metalmanky306:

it-goes-both-ways:

thespectacularspider-girl:

rossalinrose:

whydoikeepgettingdeleted:

thespectacularspider-girl:

I think that it is fine to a fairly large degree.  Rape fantasies are common, for example, and they don’t actually cause rape.

Rossalinrose needs to read this she thinks people with rape fantasy are sick.

yeah bc they are??? if u have seriously thought about raping a child you are sick

Rape fantasies are not the same thing as pedophilia.  To try to equate the two as being one and the same is dishonest.

You’ll also be surprised to know that 9 studies over 30 years (the last one being 2008) showed that, on average, 40% of women have rape fantasies.  The estimated minimum being 31%, the highest estimate being 57%.

In 2009 62% of 355 college women said that they’ve had fantasies involving them “being forcefully taken by a man”.  When the term “rape” was actually used, that dropped to 32% of them.

Rape fantasies are just fantasies.  They aren’t harmful.  And this is coming from a rape survivor.

This reminds me of the tons of fics involving rape of one of the characters, out of curiosity I checked their tumblrs they linked to and found that they’re more often than not written by feminists. It’s like they obsess over it constantly and feel disgusted by their fantasies so they blame all of society. The ones I’ve read by feminists who linked to their tumblrs describe the event in graphic detail, right down to the sounds and sensations, it’s downright erotic, while their reaction is complete and utter devastation, the most extreme PTSD you can imagine, it’s a strange contrast. No matter which character it’s about, it’ll be practically the same. The ones that are not openly feminist vary from following this pattern to being handled a lot more realistically, much more in character.

From the women I’ve met with rape fantasies they also seem to be the most terrified and paranoid, probably something to do with how much they think about it.

Wasn’t there a thing about women hiring men to “rape” them?

That’s the thing that’s important and missing from education about this stuff. Thoughts, feelings and urges are natural and can’t be helped. The best way of learning to curb them is to accept them and deal with them head on. Even the idea of these things is so criminalised. Just imagine being someone who, despite their better judgement, feels a desperate urge to rape; in this society they’re likely to feel like they’re just as disgusting as if they’d done the deed itself and maybe then even consider doing it for some peace of mind. Whereas if somebody just came and told them that this is natural and okay and that they need to find a way around it, they’d still feel like the human being that they are and they’d try and find ways of dealing with it. Vicarious means like pornography and bedroom roleplay of these things are just as okay and in fact important, I’d wager, for those who need to deal with this stuff.

We as a society always try to dehumanise people who do or want to do horrible things so that we can sleep at night and people always try to think themselves above them so they can pass judgement and say we should bring back the gallows for it or w/e (a mentality I find far more disturbing because of its pervasive self-righteousness) but it’s all bullshit. Everyone who’s ever done anything was a human being, from Ghandi to Hitler, from MLK to Joseph Fritzel.

I think it’s important the society learns to remind everyone that temptation is human, but so is compassion.

That ought to be a mantra for everyone to say, IMO.

My sister and I always talked about weird urges we had, things like pushing someone when at a great height.
There is a weird thing about when you force someone to suppress something, you can turn it into a fetish. One of the most purvy times was the Victorian era. But with things like this, automatic condemnation can kind of drive them to do it. So many situations where people cause problems by trying to prevent them in the worst possible way.

Disney fairy tales turn to abuse nightmares

dracofangxxx:

it-goes-both-ways:

How many Disney films centred around the princess while the prince doesn’t even merit a name. How many evil bad men does the prince fight in order to save the life of the princess at serious risk to his own. How many good men are there in these films besides her prince?

And now, they’re seriously saying that after they have risked their very existence to save the person they love, they’re all going to beat the shit out of them. After all the crap the Disney princes get for merely being the object of a female character’s affection this shouldn’t come as a shock but it is a disgusting new low.

The message from everywhere is even if a man endures tremendous suffering with no thanks and no expectation of reward, risks his very life to save yours or just to make you more comfortable, he is a monster.

That’s just the point, though. 

Listen, I’ve been in abusive relationships. The hardest part when you know you need to jump ship is thinking, ‘well he’s done x for me, he’s done y, he’s sweet like this, he brought me roses the other day, i can ignore the rest of it’. You make excuses. You feel like you owe them.

The whole point, I think, is that it doesn’t matter how much good these guys did, or how much they went through at the start. If your partner starts abusing you, it isn’t your job to fix them, to stay, to deal with it. It doesn’t matter if they cook you dinner every night, if they’re beating you every other day or so, that doesn’t condone a healthy relationship. You need to get out.

I do think portraying ALL of the princes as abusive is a folly, if that’s what the creator was going for, but I think the idea is very just: abuse is abuse, regardless of how good they’re treating you, or have treated you in the past. It is not your job to fix somebody else who is damaging you. At what point did the bad guys the princes slay turn into the bad guys themselves?

I advocate equality for both sexes and see female x male domestic violence issues as a very serious, very erased issue. But it is still important to bring visibility to male x female or otherwise, like this project aims to do. 

Abusers are humans, too. They have very real emotions. They almost always do love the person they abuse, sometimes intensely. They can do great things, be sweet, etc.  And they do deserve love. But that’s just it. We can’t demonize abusers like they’re 100% terrible, because that’s when we stop realizing what equates to an actual abusive relationship- we make excuses, we try to forgive too many times in a row. And then people are hurt and trapped. I think you, and many others, are approaching this through the lense that it’s blaming all men, all relationships, etc. and relying too much on your kneejerk emotions here. This is a very real and very deep problem that many men and women face: When is it time to realize my relationship has gone south?

I wasn’t meaning ingratitude, I meant that every action by these men has been seen as oppressive to women, saving women’s lives means you want to beat up women according to Anita Sarkeesian, they will see negativity in absolutely everything.

My point was that in these films the prince is usually the only good man in the princess’s life, there are men out to kill her, marry her for power,l lusting after her etc. And even he is an evil monster because all men are abusive in some way. Every man is out to abuse you. Never trust a man, even if he has well and truly proved his worth and never given any indication that he’d do all of this to rape and batter you the first chance he gets. We know it can be difficult to recognise abuse. We know there are men who are abusive. We’ve heard it. All our lives we’ve heard that message. It’s all we ever hear.

We never see the reverse in such a way, we never get people trying to taint our childhood with this shit, until they actually start to give a toss and stop poisoning every single male character and painting even the worst of women as victims of men, until they stop being so one sided I will protest every single one of these campaigns. They’re all the bloody same. Once in a blue moon we’ll get one abused man with a dozen or so women and that is like a single droplet of water to a starving tree.

patrickkellyf3 said: Rallying people into Twitter wars honestly isn’t the best way to approach things.

Yeah but it’s quite fun, since it had been taken over by feminists saying we’re all traitors and traditionalists it was fun watching them demonstrate the reasons we gave as they were trying to prove us wrong. Or rather, declaring us wrong then running away.

Disney fairy tales turn to abuse nightmares

How many Disney films centred around the princess while the prince doesn’t even merit a name. How many evil bad men does the prince fight in order to save the life of the princess at serious risk to his own. How many good men are there in these films besides her prince?

And now, they’re seriously saying that after they have risked their very existence to save the person they love, they’re all going to beat the shit out of them. After all the crap the Disney princes get for merely being the object of a female character’s affection this shouldn’t come as a shock but it is a disgusting new low.

The message from everywhere is even if a man endures tremendous suffering with no thanks and no expectation of reward, risks his very life to save yours or just to make you more comfortable, he is a monster.

Currently on a bit of a twitter war on the WomenAgainstFeminism tag, anyone care to join me?

just-smith:

anti-feminism-pro-equality:

I love this picture to death because its the ultimate proof of equality. We make fun of EVERYONE not just men not just women!

It’s not really though, is it? If you mock women for something our society says men should do, and men for something society says that women should do, you’re just enforcing gender roles onto both groups. That’s not progressive or different, that’s something that almost every bit of sexism does. Doing them both at once is no better than different people doing them separately; you still perpetuate harmful stereotypes.
Equality would be mocking men and women for the exact same things, because you acknowledge that we are all human and our gender doesn’t decide what we can and can’t do. There’s a big difference between equal treatment and an equal level of treatment. Forcing women to stay in the home and forcing men to support their whole family alone sucks for both groups, so it’s a similar level of negative treatment, but you’re a fool if you’d call that equality.

When I cook:

No subject should be out of bounds for humour, everyone is equally a target, whether or not it’s accurate. The fact that it is a joke is a sign that things have changed (from that very brief period where women were mainly at home, just upper and middle classes at that), if it was just stating fact it wouldn’t be funny.

just-smith:

anti-feminism-pro-equality:

I love this picture to death because its the ultimate proof of equality. We make fun of EVERYONE not just men not just women!

It’s not really though, is it? If you mock women for something our society says men should do, and men for something society says that women should do, you’re just enforcing gender roles onto both groups. That’s not progressive or different, that’s something that almost every bit of sexism does. Doing them both at once is no better than different people doing them separately; you still perpetuate harmful stereotypes.

Equality would be mocking men and women for the exact same things, because you acknowledge that we are all human and our gender doesn’t decide what we can and can’t do. There’s a big difference between equal treatment and an equal level of treatment. Forcing women to stay in the home and forcing men to support their whole family alone sucks for both groups, so it’s a similar level of negative treatment, but you’re a fool if you’d call that equality.

When I cook:

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_leefoavQhA1qbtchoo1_400.gif

No subject should be out of bounds for humour, everyone is equally a target, whether or not it’s accurate. The fact that it is a joke is a sign that things have changed (from that very brief period where women were mainly at home, just upper and middle classes at that), if it was just stating fact it wouldn’t be funny.

Anonymous asked
Hey, what are you thoughts about fictional works. Alot of social justice say that if you enjoy a certain fetish/trope in a fictional stuff, it's just a bad, whether or whether not you approve of it in real life. I find it fucking annoying but idk you think they have any grounds?

thespectacularspider-girl:

rossalinrose:

whydoikeepgettingdeleted:

thespectacularspider-girl:

I think that it is fine to a fairly large degree.  Rape fantasies are common, for example, and they don’t actually cause rape.

Rossalinrose needs to read this she thinks people with rape fantasy are sick.

yeah bc they are??? if u have seriously thought about raping a child you are sick

Rape fantasies are not the same thing as pedophilia.  To try to equate the two as being one and the same is dishonest.

You’ll also be surprised to know that 9 studies over 30 years (the last one being 2008) showed that, on average, 40% of women have rape fantasies.  The estimated minimum being 31%, the highest estimate being 57%.

In 2009 62% of 355 college women said that they’ve had fantasies involving them “being forcefully taken by a man”.  When the term “rape” was actually used, that dropped to 32% of them.

Rape fantasies are just fantasies.  They aren’t harmful.  And this is coming from a rape survivor.

This reminds me of the tons of fics involving rape of one of the characters, out of curiosity I checked their tumblrs they linked to and found that they’re more often than not written by feminists. It’s like they obsess over it constantly and feel disgusted by their fantasies so they blame all of society. The ones I’ve read by feminists who linked to their tumblrs describe the event in graphic detail, right down to the sounds and sensations, it’s downright erotic, while their reaction is complete and utter devastation, the most extreme PTSD you can imagine, it’s a strange contrast. No matter which character it’s about, it’ll be practically the same. The ones that are not openly feminist vary from following this pattern to being handled a lot more realistically, much more in character.

From the women I’ve met with rape fantasies they also seem to be the most terrified and paranoid, probably something to do with how much they think about it.

Wasn’t there a thing about women hiring men to “rape” them?

thatalbanianguy:

it-goes-both-ways:

hellwasabor:

it-goes-both-ways:

Judge Judy admits to NOT being a feminist - Katie Couric gets nervous - cameron dylann

This explains a lot. I like the “too stupid to know I was being held back”.

Her default response was to just regurgitate the definition (like so many others).
She sits there and all I can here her say is “don’t question it Judy just embrace it”

Is it just me or did the audience gasp when she said feminism didn’t get her where she is?

I wouldn’t be surprised at all. She got herself where she is. Just like Marie Curie. Just like the multitude of women before and after feminism. In fact, IIRC, we had Queens WAY before feminism. Funny that.

You’d never know it from the way they seem to be gradually erasing or minimising everything they’ve done and reducing them to oppressed victims. I used to see a lot of programmes on great figures from history, male and female alike, and now it’s usually evil men of history and maybe some on women concentrating more on how they suffered at the hands of men or how men kept them down or tried to.

Just looking on google trends trends to see if my suspicion is correct, mentions of women from history compared to male tyrants, the most well known queens and female figures like Marie Curie and Boudica and sure enough, over the past few years they have almost completely dropped off the radar, along with great male figures. Whereas mentions of Hitler and other tyrants remain high.

This could also be explained by people’s propensity for righteous anger, hysteria and any kind of negativity.

hellwasabor:

it-goes-both-ways:

Judge Judy admits to NOT being a feminist - Katie Couric gets nervous - cameron dylann

This explains a lot. I like the “too stupid to know I was being held back”.

Her default response was to just regurgitate the definition (like so many others).
She sits there and all I can here her say is “don’t question it Judy just embrace it”

Is it just me or did the audience gasp when she said feminism didn’t get her where she is?